Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Something Beautiful

Last night was wonderful because I got to take part in a reiki share. It involved my teacher, her best friend, and another one of her students. I was really happy to see that my intuition is growing, because my teacher hadn't been particularly specific with which house was hers. So I got off the trolley(yes really, Philadelphia has trolleys) and said "God/higher self/intuition, let me know when we get there. So as I was walking down the street that I was told to go to, my feet suddenly just stopped. I looked over at the house beside me and said "well that one looks likely" and saw my Teachers face pop out of the window! Having historically had a hopelessly terrible sense of direction, I personally thought this was the most exciting thing ever!

We did power reiki, in which instead of just one healer and one receiver, there are many healers all around channeling healing into you. It's fun having a team! I like learning/doing spiritual work with company.

My teacher took the most work, but probably because she was the most open to her own spiritual ascension and expansion. During her session, I assumed the role of leader as my partner quietly supported me. I found it interesting he gave quite a bit of reiki to me as we gave someone else a session, which by the way was great. I combined the reiki for her with Integrated Energy Therapy as well. I had brought crystals with me and a couple of them helped too. At first I put Red Jasper behind her neck, and a quartz crystal at her feet. After a couple of minutes, I switched them. My partner asked if I had done a polarity reversal. I still need to google what that could mean.

During my session, we were apparently assisted by frog totems. My teachers best friend said that she couldn't get frogs out of her head. Other student said that perhaps it was the music that was playing at the time, which did have a hopping, springy, froggy sound to it. I suggested that perhaps it was cosmically timed to play when the frogs arrived.

When we looked up "frog medicine" we found that frogs are harbingers of spiritual cleansing, and transition, and releasing your inner voice-all of which apply to me perfectly at the moment, and certainly at the time of the reiki session. They are also heavily associated with rain, and sometimes fertility.

I also found that during my receiving, I was suddenly able to see auras. I had been affirming to myself that I can see with perfect, crystal clarity since I've always had such poor vision. I've been wearing glasses since second or third grade. It's rare that I come across someone with vision the same as or worse than mine.

Which brings me to my epiphany this morning. I was reading the section of You Can Heal Your Life by Louis L. Hay. In the book she was going through each part of the body and what it represented, and how certain thought patterns affect our body's. So I come to THE EYES. Eyes are of course, both literally and figuratively, you're capacity to see. "When there are problems with the eyes, it usually means that there is something we do not want to see, either about ourselves or about life: past, present, or future. Whenever I see small children wearing glasses, I know that there is stuff going in their household that they do not want to look at. If they can't change the experience, they will diffuse the sight so they don't have to see it so clearly." (pg 125)
I had read about this before, but never before had it clicked quite like it did when I read that. I felt emotion well up inside me, and started wracking my brains to figure out what I could've been so afraid to see as a child. It was so long ago after all. It occurred to be that there could have been a lot of things... arguments and fights. The clear unhappiness of people close to me. Always afraid of the future (nearsighted people in particular are said to be afraid of the future as opposed to far sighted people who are afraid of the present).
 As I figured out from Integrated Energy Therapy, I perceived threat to my safety everywhere I went as a kid. I was always afraid of being yelled at. Afraid of certain angry people in my family who could blow up at any moment. And who know's what they were capable of when they were angry like that?
But I also realized something even bigger and more important than that! I realized that this is something that I still do today. When something stressful come up and I have a problem, something that's maybe a little bit scary, such as figuring out my college financial aid(which I am now paying for), I choose to ignore the potentially stressful problem and pretend that it doesn't exist. I won't even look at it. I choose to turn a blind eye. How fascinating it is to notice how we use language to say thing that we know intuitively. Things we don't even know we know.

How many of you who are nearsighted do the same thing? Stall, or put off facing your problems?

I know that this was the start of what I have no doubt will be a great healing process, because you can't fix a problem if you don't even know what it is. I wish I would've known about all of this when I was a child, crying and sobbing because I wanted to be able to see. It turns out that I couldn't because somewhere deep inside, i didn't REALLY want to see.

So now I will affirm to myself: "I accept Divine guidance and am always safe. I trust the process of life."

I hope I brought a little trust in the world to the woman that I met last night. She stopped me in the street in front of my dorm as I was returning home from the reiki share. She was talking quickly because she didn't want to waste anyones time. She also said that the police had told her she could go around and ask the students for help, so as to prove that she wasn't scamming us. She said happy holidays first and then went on to explain how her boyfriend kicked her out of his car and left her stranded in Philadelphia. She said to me "I live very far away in Newark, New Jersey.. I have three dollars to my name." I could see the tears in her eyes as she desperately struggled not to cry. She was begging for money for a ticket to go home or even just a token. She said that I could go with her to the police or watch her buy a ticket to prove that she wasn't scamming me.
She brought up this memory of a woman who I met on the train. I took her to the grocery store that she was looking for since I already knew where it was. She told me that once she had stood in front of the train station in front of my school to ask for money because she was a quarter short. She just need one quarter to get on the train and go home, and no one would give it to her.
So as I looked at this woman in front of me I said "I believe you" and pulled $20 and a token out of my wallet. Theres enough abundance and wealth in this world for all of us, so why not share it? Especially seeing as she certainly needed it more than I did at the time. And God had put her on my path at that exact moment for a reason. It was way to cold out there for someone to be wandering around lost and without a way to get home. If you see someone in trouble, take the time to stop and help out. Even if it's in the smallest of ways, you could change someones life.

I hugged her and she was jumping up and down for joy. She told me her name (although I've already forgotten @_@) and I told her mine. The tears of desperation were replaced with tears of joy and smiles. I hope I replaced all of her fear and feeling of loss with something beautiful. She said that I had made her night and went on and on telling me how God was going to bless me and thanking me. She was still thanking me as we parted ways and she was walking down the street. It felt good. :)

Miss, I hope you got home safe. May your life be ever full of kindness and abundance. Happy holidays.